For generations, the conventional narrative surrounding child sexual abuse (CSA) has painted a picture of profound, unyielding devastation. Cultural assumptions and clinical perspectives have long dictated that the psychological trauma resulting from CSA is so severe that survivors—overwhelmingly women—are destined to experience lifelong post-traumatic stress disorder, chronic fear of partner intimacy, and permanent aversion to physical affection. According to this traditional viewpoint, if survivors ever attempt to re-engage in partner sex, they do so merely out of obligation, finding little to no personal enjoyment while enduring persistent physiological hurdles such as arousal difficulties and the inability to achieve orgasm.
While mental health professionals universally acknowledge that CSA is an intensely traumatic experience capable of inflicting long-term psychological and sexual impairment, emerging scientific inquiry suggests a more hopeful trajectory. A recent study indicates that as CSA survivors transition into young adulthood, many possess the capacity to reclaim and thoroughly enjoy partner intimacy, provided they first explore their own sexuality through self-directed exploration and solo pleasure.
The Study
Researchers at the University of Nebraska recently undertook an investigation involving 77 young adult women who were survivors of child sexual abuse, with an average age of 20. The survey specifically probed whether these participants intentionally avoided partner sex and examined their broader sexual functioning. As expected, the findings revealed that some participants indeed struggled significantly with intimacy-related challenges. However, in stark contrast to long-standing conventional wisdom, the data demonstrated that regular engagement in solo sex fundamentally altered these outcomes.
For the young women who incorporated regular solo sex into their lives, the history of CSA did not culminate in long-term sexual avoidance or an elevated risk of chronic sexual dysfunction. Instead, regular solo intimacy served as a bridge, helping the participants move past avoidance behaviors and significantly lowering the incidence of physiological hurdles during partner sex.
Healing Is Possible
In the immediate aftermath of any profound trauma, natural human instincts dictate a protective withdrawal from the triggers associated with the event. This defensive response often mirrors the classic dynamic observed in equestrian sports, encapsulated by the traditional advice to "get back up on the horse that threw you." When an equestrian is unseated, riding instructors frequently encourage them to confront their apprehension immediately and resume riding to prevent fear from solidifying into a permanent phobia.
Of course, the psychological landscape of child sexual abuse is infinitely more complex, delicate, and fraught than being thrown from a horse. Yet, the recent University of Nebraska study suggests that the underlying principle of courageous, measured re-engagement still holds profound relevance. Survivors of sexual trauma may never fully erase the memories of their abuse, but the data indicates they are certainly not condemned to a lifetime devoid of fulfilling, affectionate partnerships. Recovery—defined here as the ability to experience enjoyable, problem-free partner sex—is entirely attainable. The pathway to this recovery involves exploring one’s sexuality at an individual, comfortable pace, with regular solo sex acting as a foundational stepping stone.
Staci Haines, author of Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma and a survivor of CSA herself, understands this journey intimately. After enduring years of personal struggle during her own recovery, Haines transformed her life, eventually building a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life while establishing a career as a psychotherapist specializing in helping other abuse survivors reclaim erotic pleasure.
"Healing is possible," Haines explains, addressing the dual dimensions of emotional and sexual recovery. "I tell survivors: You survived. You’re more powerful than what happened to you. Victimization is terrible. Surviving it is very hard. So is recovery. But now that you’re an adult, you have the capacity to recover and to build the life—and the sex life—you choose."
To achieve this, Haines utilizes somatic therapy, a therapeutic modality that leverages physical touch to reacquaint survivors with their bodies’ inherent capacity for sensation and pleasure. These somatic explorations must prioritize safety above all else, typically beginning with gentle, patient self-massage across the body before gradually progressing toward deliberate self-sexing.
The clinical philosophy championed by Haines aligns seamlessly with the outcomes of the University of Nebraska study. When compared directly with participants who abstained from regular solo intimacy, the women who engaged in self-sexing reported a significantly reduced tendency to shun sexual activity altogether, alongside a markedly higher capacity for experiencing pleasurable and connective partner lovemaking.
Despite its demonstrated therapeutic value, self-sexing continues to carry a heavy cultural stigma and remains a frequent source of internalized shame for many individuals. Much of this societal stigma traces its roots back to historical Judeo-Christian traditions, which emphasize the foundational biblical imperative in the Book of Genesis to "be fruitful and multiply." Consequently, adherents across various conservative religious communities—including traditional strains of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—often view solo sex with strict disapproval, maintaining that divine sanction is reserved exclusively for marital, heterosexual intercourse explicitly directed toward procreation.
While reproduction remains a primary goal for many families, a vast portion of the global population views intimacy not merely as a mechanism for procreation, but as a vital avenue for human connection, stress relief, and personal pleasure. In fact, empirical studies on human behavior consistently show that solo sexual activity is among the most widely practiced forms of sexual expression worldwide.
Beyond its role in personal enjoyment, solo sex serves important clinical and therapeutic functions across modern medicine. It is frequently prescribed as a core component in the treatment of male premature ejaculation and in addressing orgasmic difficulties among women. The latest study adds robust empirical evidence to this body of knowledge, indicating that self-sexing holds profound therapeutic utility specifically for survivors navigating the lingering impacts of child sexual abuse, and likely offers similar benefits for those recovering from post-childhood sexual trauma.
Get Professional Help
In one fundamental aspect, the conventional wisdom regarding trauma remains accurate: child sexual abuse and other forms of sexual violence inflict deep, layered psychological wounds that require time, patience, and deliberate care to mend. While recovery is entirely possible, it is a process that almost invariably benefits from professional guidance.
Mental health advocates suggest that survivors beginning their healing journey might find initial comfort and insight by reading foundational literature, such as Haines’s work, before transitioning to collaborative work with a trauma-informed psychotherapist. Ideally, this professional support should incorporate specialized approaches such as somatic therapy and guided self-directed bodily exploration, ensuring that survivors can navigate their recovery safely and at their own pace.