When I was invited to appear on the popular Australian podcast “Beyond the Bump” last month, I expected a standard conversation about parenting. Instead, I found myself immersed in a profound, authentic, and deeply moving exploration of modern motherhood. Hosted by Sophie Pearce and Jayde Couldwell—two young mothers who have built a substantial and devoted following in the maternal wellness space—the podcast offered a unique window into the daily realities, emotional complexities, and unspoken truths of raising children today.
Our conversation centered primarily on the concept of maternal ambivalence: the complex coexistence of profound love and overwhelming frustration, beauty and hardship. Sitting with Sophie and Jayde, I immediately recognized the passion and enthusiasm that drives their platform. They are women who not only understand the everyday experiences of mothering but are actively working to create spaces where mothers can speak honestly about the emotional weight of their roles.
A Conversation About Maternal Ambivalence
As our discussion unfolded, we reflected on the layered, day-to-day realities of parenting and why making sense of maternal ambivalence is so crucial for modern families. Sophie and Jayde articulated the emotional truths of their experiences with striking clarity, capturing the delicate balance that defines parenthood.
"The hard things are so often coupled with positive," they noted during our exchange, highlighting the dual nature of raising children. One host remarked that before having children, she had never experienced anything that made her feel quite so torn. Yet, when reflecting on why mothers continue to grow their families despite the undeniable challenges, they described it as a delicate dance where beauty and difficulty exist side by side.
I chimed in to connect their observations to clinical understanding, noting that this is precisely what ambivalence means: the capacity to hold two opposing truths at the same time.
The conversation soon shifted toward the trial-and-error nature of parenting. We discussed how mothering is a continuous process of making mistakes and subsequently repairing them, which serves as the primary mechanism for learning and growth. This realization prompted the hosts to reflect on their own childhoods and reconsider the experiences of their own mothers. While they once viewed their mothers as infallible figures during their youth, they began to recognize a generational symmetry. They realized that their mums had also made countless mistakes, frequently navigating uncharted territory without a manual.
However, they noted a critical difference between generations: perhaps women in the past lacked the societal freedom to voice their true feelings and frustrations openly. This realization marked one of the most powerful moments of our exchange. Today, mothers are increasingly finding the comfort and safety needed to discuss the genuine challenges of motherhood. Women need safe spaces to unpack these complex feelings, and those of us who operate within the maternal support space have a responsibility to encourage and protect that dialogue.
The conversation continued with other foundational truths about parenting. As mothers, we largely make it up as we go along. We must constantly remind ourselves that the vast majority of parents are simply doing the best they can with what they have, and that the difficulties inherent in mothering are not problems to be "fixed," but rather experiences to learn from.
At one point, an even deeper layer of vulnerability entered the dialogue when it became clear that Sophie was grappling with the precise definition of maternal ambivalence. Rather than glossing over the term, they kept pressing me for clarity, a persistence for which I was deeply grateful because it allowed us to delve even deeper into the emotional mechanics of parenting.
The Baby Bag Metaphor
What followed was a total pivot in the conversation—a spontaneous epiphany where Jayde began articulating her personal understanding of maternal ambivalence in a remarkably sensitive and memorable way, utilizing the metaphor of a baby bag.
The depth of the imagery seemed to startle everyone in the room. To paraphrase her description, Jayde explained that being a mother feels akin to carrying a heavy baby bag around all day, every day. Looking inside the bag, one can see a multitude of contradictory emotions rattling around together: frustration, anger, fierce love, and deep sadness. She described how every day is filled with this mix of feelings, carried through the routine of daily life until the day finally ends. Only when a mother sits down in the quiet of the evening and begins to unpack the bag does she realize how necessary, albeit heavy, all of those emotions truly are.
The next day, the cycle repeats, and the unpacking begins anew. Crucially, Jayde cautioned that rather than stigmatizing or hiding these difficult emotions, mothers need to acknowledge and utilize them.
What It Means to Have a Team
Beyond Jayde’s powerful words, I was deeply struck by the dynamic interaction between the two co-hosts. I witnessed firsthand what I so often emphasize in my work: how vital it is for a mother to have someone firmly on her team. Every mother needs someone who can both challenge and support her—someone who unwaveringly has her back. Watching these two women build upon each other’s life stories in an honest, unfiltered conversation made it abundantly clear that they are each other’s ultimate support system.
The co-hosts continuously encouraged and fueled one another throughout the interview. As Jayde unpacked her metaphor, Sophie urged her forward with affectionate encouragement, saying, "Jayde, gorgeous, keep going," and expressing how deeply moved she was by the revelation. They were communicating in a shared language unique to their bond—the strong, compassionate voice of two mothers uniting through shared experience.
Then came another moment of brilliance. Jayde added to her metaphor by declaring, "Let’s use these feelings to propel us to something more productive."
It was a direct hit. This, precisely, is the essence of maternal ambivalence. It is transformative. It is the very psychological mechanism that allows mothers to keep showing up day after day. Jayde’s choice of the word "propel" is exceptionally powerful; it denotes a forward-moving force driven by clear intent.
Making Space for Mothers’ Truths
These two young women had successfully defined maternal ambivalence in their own terms, claiming the concept and making it entirely their own. They demonstrated a profound understanding of the emotional landscape of parenting, perfectly exemplifying the core goals of my professional work. I left the interview having learned an immense amount from their interactions, their emotional intelligence, and their collective wisdom.
Watching my professional work being reimagined and retold through their powerful, authentic voices emphasized the absolute necessity of creating platforms where maternal realities can be freely discussed. They described motherhood not as an idealized fantasy, but as carrying a literal bag of mixed emotions—a raw and accurate summary of daily life as a parent. Yet, despite the weight of that bag, mothers continue to find a way forward.
On their Instagram account following the episode, Sophie and Jayde posed a question to their audience: "How have we never heard of maternal ambivalence?"
Now, thanks to their far-reaching platform and their willingness to explore the uncomfortable truths of parenting, thousands of followers will.