When audiences tune in to watch the hit Star Wars television series The Mandalorian or anticipate the upcoming feature film The Mandalorian and Grogu, they are often captivated by the dynamic between a steadfast, armor-clad bounty hunter and his endearing charge. While the notion of a galactic warrior with a heart of gold might seem far removed from the realities of local athletics, the connection is
closer than many fans realize. It is entirely possible that viewers are absorbing valuable lessons on patience, guidance, and support simply by watching the physical performance of the character on screen.
Behind the Beskar steel of the title character since 2019 is actor and stunt performer Brendan Wayne, whose dedication to physical performance on screen is matched by a lifelong commitment to athletics off screen. Alongside his acting career and his recently launched podcast, Hats & Helmets, Wayne has spent 23 years coaching youth sports. Currently, he serves as the head coach of the Lady Lancers soccer team at Grant High School in California, bringing decades of practical experience to the field every single week.
"I’ve played sports my whole life," Wayne tells Fatherly. "It’s one of the greatest things a kid can learn to do."
As the summer season gives way to the return of the academic year and the resumption of youth sports leagues across the country, Wayne shared his core principles as a veteran coach. While millions recognize him for his work bringing a beloved television character to life, his expertise on the soccer pitch is grounded in years of hands-on mentorship, community building, and an intimate understanding of what young athletes truly need from the adults in their lives.
Fail together, succeed together
Wayne’s overarching philosophy as a coach is deliberately detached from the obsessive pursuit of a flawless win-loss record. Instead, he centers his entire program around the fundamental concept of togetherness, fostering an environment where young people can build genuine bonds through shared experiences. In Wayne’s view, the true value of athletics does not come from avoiding mistakes, but from navigating them collectively.
"I want my kids to fail together," Wayne explains. "I want them to succeed together. I want them to make mistakes in front of their friends and have to speak to it and live through it. If I can try to simplify it, my philosophy is to provide a competitive strength-building environment where we are allowed to fail to succeed."
Furthermore, Wayne approaches coaching with an eye toward breaking down traditional barriers that can isolate young female athletes. By creating a collaborative and cohesive team culture, he hopes to offer girls the same camaraderie that is so often fostered in traditional male team sports environments.
"I’d also try to take the stigma of women competing against each other and bring them together just like I grew up with my buddies, because I always felt like there was a huge difference," Wayne says. "And maybe I’m wrong, but my idea is to allow them to have the team atmosphere where they can have their buddies."
If you can’t stop your sideline coaching, become a ref
For many families involved in youth athletics, the sidelines can become a pressure cooker. Spectators and parents often find themselves deeply invested in the outcome of a match, to the point where emotional reactions spill over into disruptive behavior directed at officials, opposing players, or even the young athletes themselves. When asked what parents should do when they find themselves unable to control their urge to shout instructions or argue with the officiating crew, Wayne offers a blunt and uncompromising perspective.
"Go home," Wayne states. "I mean, if you can’t get it together, go home. I’ve said this to some parents, and I’ve been let go or I’ve lost players. But I’ve also gained others who have sometimes come back and apologized after the moment passes."
Wayne acknowledges that parental passion usually stems from a place of deep love and a desire to see children succeed. However, he emphasizes that true support must be rooted in the child’s aspirations rather than the adult’s ego or preconceived notions of victory. For parents who possess a deep understanding of the game and an irresistible urge to be involved, Wayne offers a constructive alternative that benefits the broader community.
"I know we all believe in our kids, and that’s good, and you should, and you should believe in them by supporting their success, not yours. Not your idea of what that success means," Wayne advises. "And if you know the game, go learn to coach it. Or the best one is go become a ref. We need refs, and we need more community."
Drawing from his own extensive background wearing the official’s jersey, Wayne does not sugarcoat the reality of refereeing youth sports, yet he highlights the profound rewards that come with the role.
"I’ve reffed for 13 years," Wayne shares. "It’s terrible. People are terrible, but the highs are amazing when that kid smiles at you or whatever it is, the game when it’s going right, man, it’s great."
When the ball is in play, it’s time to cheer — not coach
Even as a seasoned coach leading his team from the technical area, Wayne maintains a strict boundary during active play. He believes that genuine coaching and tactical instruction must happen during practice sessions and intervals, rather than through frantic shouting from the sidelines while the match is underway. Constant external noise, according to Wayne, only serves to distract and disorient players who need to focus on the game and trust their own instincts.
"If the ball’s in play in an area, you just let them go," Wayne explains. "If Joni’s over there and she’s trying to defend somebody and I’m yelling from the sideline, like ‘Hey, look at me,’ now I’m beat. You’ve got to let them know how much you love them. I always tell them: ‘I love watching you play. It’s not saying ‘run faster.’ It’s not that.’"
By replacing tactical commands with positive reinforcement during live play, coaches and parents can create a psychologically safe space where young athletes feel empowered to make decisions, take risks, and enjoy the flow of the game without the constant fear of immediate critique.
Figure out why your kid might want to quit
Youth sports participation naturally fluctuates, and many children reach a point where they express a desire to walk away from a team or a sport entirely. When this happens, Wayne urges parents and mentors to look beyond the surface reaction and carefully investigate the underlying motivations. Rather than accepting a resignation at face value or forcing a child to continue against their will, adults need to evaluate the holistic environment surrounding the young athlete.
"When they start to fade away, I think you, as a parent, better take a real good inventory of why," Wayne says. "Is it the coaches?"
Wayne notes that it can be deeply disheartening to witness children abandon a sport simply because the adults in charge are overly focused on personal glory or win records rather than the well-being of the participants. Alternatively, if a child is withdrawing because they feel inadequate or lacking in skill, Wayne stresses that the response from parents must be unconditional love and reassurance.
"It breaks my heart to see kids who stop playing because their coaches are too unconnected. Those coaches might be too connected to themselves and their record," Wayne notes. "But are they quitting because they feel like they’re not good enough? If that’s the case, you can make it clear that you love them no matter what they do."
Multiple sports are great
As an actor and physical performer who understands the rigorous demands of maintaining a strong, functional physique—particularly when it comes to the physical endurance required to wear heavy cinematic armor—Wayne is a passionate advocate for balanced physical development. He applies this same comprehensive philosophy to youth athletics, warning against the modern trend of early specialization, which he views as a significant hazard to long-term health and athletic longevity.
"First, we’ve got to normalize multiple sports again," Wayne states. "We’re seeing catastrophic injuries on a huge level because we’re running kids in the same sport year-round with coaches who don’t have any idea how to fully develop a physical body."
To combat this issue, Wayne encourages families to embrace cross-training and multi-sport participation, allowing growing bodies to develop a diverse range of movement patterns, strength, and resilience without suffering from overuse or repetitive strain.
"So, put them in multiple sports, let their whole body build," Wayne advises. "Have your kid play a lot of sports, do a lot of different exercises — not to the point where they’re degrading their bodies — but to the point where they’re building their bodies in a way that makes them flexible."
Remember, this is supposed to be fun
Amidst the intensity of competitive leagues, travel teams, and parental expectations, it is easy for young athletes to lose sight of the primary reason they joined a team in the first place. Wayne reminds adults that the vast majority of children participating in youth sports will not pursue professional athletic careers. While some exceptional talents may go on to higher levels of competition, that possibility is entirely secondary to the immediate experience of play, growth, and joy.
When Wayne notices anxiety or frustration building up in his players during a match, his intervention is often designed to break the tension and remind them of the inherent joy of the game.
"Sometimes, I just yell out: ‘Hey, laugh! This is soccer! Nobody’s paying you today!’" Wayne says. "This is supposed to be fun."
Brendan Wayne can be seen in the upcoming cinematic release The Mandalorian and Grogu, and listeners can hear more of his insights on his podcast, Hats & Helmets.